


Neutrality Wins No Wars

by silver_etoile



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Detention, F/M, Future Fic, High School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 07:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4658139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_etoile/pseuds/silver_etoile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Riley and Lucas break up, the lines are drawn in the sand, but Maya finds herself crossing that line when she gets stuck in detention with Lucas. She doesn't mean to let herself get involved, but with the rumors flying around school about her, she just needs someone to talk to. She gets the feeling Riley won't see it that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Neutrality Wins No Wars

It all starts with a dare, and when Maya looks back on this moment, she definitely won’t pinpoint it as the start, but the truth is, it is just that.

Missy Bradford (who goes by _Marissa_ now, thank you very much) has gathered a few people from the party into the middle of her living room and sat them down in a circle. It’s all very middle school, but Maya has had a few cups of the punch (read: whatever wine Missy’s parents had in the house watered down with various juices), so Maya takes her place next to Riley and Lucas and lets the charade continue. Considering they’re juniors now, almost seventeen, it seems a little childish.

“Truth or dare,” Missy announces to the unimpressed faces staring back at her. 

It might as well be a game of spin the bottle for all the dares people are throwing out. Maya gets away with a Truth (”The biggest lie you ever told?” “That I wanted to come to this party.”) but Riley isn’t so lucky. 

When Riley picks dare, after much egging from the circle, Missy looks like a fox in the henhouse as she pretends to think for a long minute, probably to torture Riley. And it works since Riley shifts nervously and glances at Lucas beside her.

Maya swishes what’s left in her glass. Drinking a sad excuse for sangria out of crystal wine glasses has a strange sort of irony to it. She’s only at the party because Lucas and Riley made her go. She doesn’t particularly enjoy being their third wheel, but they insisted she come. Since they got together officially last year, Maya has felt like she’s just dragging behind them constantly.

At length, Missy’s lips curl into a dangerous smile. “Riley, I dare you to kiss… Charlie.”

Across the circle, Charlie perks up while Riley shrinks back. She can’t back out of the dare, as Missy so nicely points out when she hesitates. Lucas leans back on his hands, his mouth twisted to the left, but he says nothing.

The kiss is barely scandalous. Just a peck on the lips and lots of blushing on Riley’s part. Maya’s done worse with strangers.

Moving back, Riley curls up tightly against Lucas, as though that might protect her from any more dares that come her way. 

Maya tosses back the remaining wine, her head pleasantly light. That might be why she doesn’t notice the perceptible shift from Lucas next to Riley.

It’s Charlie’s turn, and he wastes no time turning to Missy and her smirk. “Okay, Missy—”

“Marissa,” she corrects him sharply but lets him proceed.

“Whatever. I dare you to kiss Lucas.”

Maya doesn’t see the strategy here. It’s not much of a revenge on Missy since everyone knows she’s had her eyes on Lucas from the beginning. In the back of her mind, Maya wonders if they’re in this together, but she’d had too much wine to figure it out this very moment.

Riley’s eyes widen, but more surprising is Lucas’ reaction. He stands abruptly, leaving Riley without support on the floor. She falls sideways a second before righting herself and staring up at him.

“This is stupid,” he says, eyes sweeping the circle, pausing on Maya and then Riley.

“Can’t back out of a dare,” Missy teases, tossing back her hair.

“Lucas,” Riley says quietly, but Lucas shakes his head.

“I’m not gonna stay here for this,” he says, and he leaves the apartment before anyone can stop him.

“Lucas!” Riley calls after him, struggling to her feet and following him out the door.

That effectively breaks up the game and most people disperse. Maya leans back against the chair and contemplates getting another drink. She’s already had two more than she promised Riley she would. Besides, she probably needs to sober up for the subway ride home. Riley and Lucas will probably want to leave when they come back. Finally.

Missy hasn’t left either, examining her nails for a moment before she glances slyly at Maya.

“Maya,” she says, her voice sweet and conversational. Normally, Maya wouldn’t even speak to her, but she feels relaxed and moving away would be too much effort. “You’re not seeing anyone.”

She doesn’t say it like a question. She says it like a fact. A sad fact. 

Maya rolls her eyes. “No.” Missy only ever talks about boys. Well, that’s not true. Missy talks about anything that will stir up drama. Boys just happen to be number one these days with all the hormones flying around. Before it was boys, it was money and popularity. She still likes to pull those cards out from time to time.

“I heard you slept with Drew Grady,” Missy says, still conversational, but she has to be fishing for something.

“I’m sure he said that,” Maya replies. She isn’t going to defend her reputation to Missy. As a matter of fact, she hadn’t slept with Drew. They’d fooled around and maybe she’d let him get to second base (okay, closer to third but who’s counting? She doesn’t play baseball).

Maya knows what boys say about her. It’s no secret. Everyone expects her to be easy, the “slutty” one compared to Riley’s virtuosity. Painting her in that role is about as obvious as casting Alan Rickman for Snape in Harry Potter. Sometimes it’s easier just to let them think what they will. Fighting it just makes it worse.

Checking the time, Maya sighs. What are Lucas and Riley doing? They never fight. If they’re having a heart-to-heart conversation, it could take hours. She could go check on them, but that would require moving, and she’s worried if she tries to stand, the whole room might spin on her. It’s always when you stand up that you realize how drunk you are. Maya would rather not find out.

Of course, the other option is to remain with Missy, who hasn’t left, and is staring at her with an unnerving amount of determination, as though gauging how much she can get Maya to reveal in her inebriated state.

The door bangs open, though, and Riley is there. Maya feels a rush of gratitude at her timing, but it’s replaced immediately with concern as she gets a look at Riley’s face.

Riley doesn’t cry very often, mostly because she doesn’t get sad about things. Her face is streaked with tears now and she doesn’t have to say anything before Maya is scrambling to her feet and grabbing their jackets from the pile on the chair. Behind her, she can practically feel Missy’s gaze on them as she herds Riley from the apartment.

“Riley, what happened?” she asks the moment the door shuts behind them. She doesn’t want Missy to hear any of this, though she’ll no doubt find out sooner or later.

Riley sniffs, still crying, and her hands are shaking as she takes the jacket Maya hands her. “We br-broke up,” she sobs.

Maya gathers her into a hug before she can break down completely in the deserted hallway. Comforting isn’t exactly Maya’s thing, but she pats Riley’s back and lets her tears stain her shirt.

Her mind is racing to put things together. Lucas and Riley are perfect together. They never fight, never even disagree. Like two peas in a pod.

“What—how—why?” is all she manages to get out, her brain unable to make sense of it. She shouldn’t have had that third drink.

Riley just cries in response, sniffing and struggling to breathe. Maya’s probably not going to get an answer out of her, not tonight, so she pushes her hair over her shoulder and gives her a squeeze.

“Let’s go home,” she says, helping Riley into her jacket and leading her toward the elevator. They can deal with this tomorrow and figure out what the hell is going on because something is. Maya just doesn’t know what.

*

Maya doesn’t get anything out of Riley all weekend. Sunday, Riley doesn’t answer her phone, and when Maya climbs onto the fire escape and knocks, the lights are off, and no one lets her in.

She has to wait until Monday to see Riley, and when she gets to school, Riley stands at her locker, staring blankly inside.

“Hey,” Maya says, unsure, which freaks her out a little. She’s never been unsure where Riley is concerned.

“Hi,” Riley says, nowhere near her chipper self. She shuts the locker and turns to Maya.

She doesn’t look like she’s been crying, but she doesn’t look like she’s been sleeping either. Maya’s going to kill Lucas for doing this to Riley.

“Are you okay?” It’s a stupid question, but Maya has to ask it.

Riley shakes her head jerkily. “I just don’t understand. He said it wasn’t working. He said we weren’t good together. What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” Maya shrugs. Apparently she understands a lot less about Lucas than she thought. She didn’t know he could be this mean, that he could hurt Riley so much. “Want me to beat him up?”

Riley doesn’t smile, but she shakes her head.

“I’ll kick his ass. I’m not kidding,” Maya says seriously. Anyone who hurts her best friend deserves to get hurt in return.

“I don’t want to think about him,” Riley says. “I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want anything to do with him.”

Maya can’t say she disagrees, but there’s a problem considering they step into class and Lucas is there, in his seat behind Maya where he usually is. For a brief second, he meets Maya’s glare then goes back to staring at his desk.

He’s lucky the bell rings as Maya slides into her seat or he might be on the wrong end of a cannon. Riley slides down in her seat, hunching her shoulders. Maya frowns and turns to the front. No one is allowed to hurt her best friend, especially not Lucas Friar.

“Poland and Switzerland!” Mr. Matthews strides into the room, dropping his briefcase on the desk and surveying the class. “One managed to remain intact for most of history and one disappeared entirely for a period. What was the difference?”

Maya doesn’t know, but she has a feeling she’s going to find out.

*

Before Lucas moved to New York, Maya and Riley had always been Maya and Riley, but then it had become Maya and Riley and Lucas. And then it had become Riley and Lucas, or RileyandLucas depending who you asked. As much as Maya is pissed at Lucas for breaking Riley’s heart, she can’t help but feel relieved that it’s just the two of them again.

Now that they’re older, there’s a lot less sitting in the bay window reflecting on life and a lot more sitting in Central Park talking about school.

“I hate Mrs. O’Connell,” Maya says, propping her foot on the bench and braiding the end of her hair.

“Maya,” Riley says in that tone she uses to both reprimand and agree.

“She’s a bitch and she hates me.” Maya shrugs. That’s all there is to it. It might also be because Maya never turns in the homework, but physics is too much math to bother with.

A cool breeze sweeps past, blowing fallen leaves over the pathway before them. Autumn came on quickly this year, dropping from ninety degrees to seventy-five in the span of a week after school started.

“Maybe if you did the homework,” Riley says, but her heart isn’t in it. Maya can tell.

It’s been weird, this whole breakup thing. It’s the first time Riley has ever actually had a breakup, and it was with Lucas. Maya, and probably everyone else, sort of assumed they’d be together forever. One of those couples.

They’ve stopped talking to Lucas. Well, Riley did for obvious reasons, and Maya followed suit. Not that Lucas has tried to talk to her either. He’s too busy hanging out with Zay and not always showing up to class.

Normally, that would be a problem, but Lucas isn’t Maya’s problem anymore.

“Wanna get ice cream?” Maya asks because ice cream always makes Riley feel better.

“I guess,” Riley says, but it’s without her usual enthusiasm.

Maya just wants things to go back to normal, but she still doesn’t quite understand why Riley and Lucas broke up in the first place. Riley can’t seem to, or doesn’t want to, explain, and Maya has no intention of asking Lucas. Resigning herself to never knowing, Maya stands from the bench and waits for Riley to join her. They have their whole junior year to look forward to. This isn’t going to ruin it.

“I could help you with physics,” Riley says as they wander down the path, and Maya smiles. The old Riley isn’t totally gone. She can work with that.

*

Autumn barely lasts a few weeks it feels like and then it’s winter. Cold, biting, icy winter. Before the holidays even. Maya isn’t sure she’s going to survive this winter when it’s barely November and she’s already bundling up in too many layers and boots and scarves just to walk to the subway.

The past couple months have been strange, mostly due to not talking to Lucas. For the most part, Maya has tried to ignore him. It’s getting easier too since Lucas doesn’t show up to class half the time. Riley hasn’t said anything about it, but Maya knows she’s noticed. Maya’s having a hard time remembering what life was like before Lucas.

Aside from the whole Lucas thing, her life isn’t going too well and that’s how she ends up dragging herself to detention Monday after school. Apparently Mrs. O’Connell doesn’t like her “attitude” and “talking back” is enough to land herself in detention.

The door swings open and Maya enters the classroom, empty but for one seat. The one behind hers. Lucas.

Lucas’ head rises with the door squeak but he freezes as he meets her eyes. For a moment, neither move, but then Maya takes her seat without a word and drops her bag on the floor.

Great. An hour and a half with Lucas in detention. She would rather have spent the time scraping gum off the cafeteria tables.

The door opens again a minute later, and Mrs. Petri strides in, hands on her hips as she surveys both of them.

“There will be no talking,” she says without introduction. “No eating. No sleeping. You are to sit and reflect.”

Maya sets her head on the desk and sighs. The only bright side of Mrs. Petri as detention head is that she’ll only spend five minutes with them and the rest in her classroom reading old paperback romance books filled with pulsating body parts. Maya thinks she can see a tattered book in her pocket already. 

“I will be grading in my office,” Mrs. Petri says, though Maya knows the truth. “Under no circumstances are you allowed to leave this room.”

She leaves but doesn’t lock the door. It’s probably illegal to lock students in in case there’s a fire or something. Maya isn’t thinking about a fire, and she isn’t thinking about leaving either. That would just get her more detention.

The only thing to do is homework, and the mere thought makes Maya want to die. The only other option is Lucas.

Behind her, she can’t hear Lucas at all except his breathing in the silent classroom. It goes against all of the Best Friend Codes, but Maya has never been very good with silence, especially not for prolonged periods of time. She needs music or TV or something. In silence, she starts to think about things, like her mother’s delusions of acting and the fact that she hasn’t seen her father in ten years.

It’s worth breaking the code so she doesn’t go insane over the next hour and a half. Swiveling in her seat, she turns to face Lucas.

“What are you in for, Hoss?” she asks simply, not expecting Lucas to stare at her as if he’s never been asked that before.

“Oh, you’re talking to me,” he says instead of answering the question.

“Nobody else here.”

Lucas doesn’t seem amused. “I didn’t realize you still remembered me.”

Frowning, Maya isn’t sure this was a good idea. She hadn’t expected him to be so standoffish. It isn’t like him. Then again, no one has been quite acting like themselves since the breakup.

“Don’t be stupid,” she says, but she feels a pang of guilt deep down. She reminds herself, though, that Lucas broke up with Riley. Not the other way around. And even so, Riley is her best friend. It’s only natural she’s going to take her side.

Lucas leans back in his chair. Maya’s neck is starting to hurt from sitting sideways, so she climbs on top of her desk and sits with her feet on the chair, facing Lucas.

“So you haven’t spoken to me in two months because…” Lucas says, arching his eyebrows.

“You broke up with Riley,” Maya replies promptly.

He frowns. “That’s it? You just stop being my friend because we broke up?”

Maya isn’t sure he deserves an explanation since he did the breaking, but there’s nothing else to talk about and they’ve got plenty of time. “Riley’s my best friend. She doesn’t want to talk to you so I don’t either. Besides, you’ve been hanging out with Zay a lot more.”

Zay and Lucas aren’t the same as Riley and Maya, and they both know it, but neither says anything.

“I thought we were friends too,” Lucas says quietly, and for a second, Maya feels bad about not talking to him for so long.

She shrugs. “I’ve known Riley longer. She’s like my sister.”

Lucas seems to laugh, but it’s more of a huff than anything. “Four years and I’m still the new kid. How do you expect me to compete when everyone has known each other since first grade? I’ll never win the longest friend contest.”

Maya finds herself feeling bad again. She can’t help that Riley is her best friend, and she had to take a side. It isn’t as though Lucas is offering any explanation for what he did to Riley anyway. It could just be his sad puppy dog eyes getting to her. They need to get off this topic.

“So why are you in here?” she asks, setting her elbows on her knees and leaning forward.

Lucas sighs, resigned, and climbs onto the desk behind him, feet on his own chair as he faces her. 

“Fighting.”

Maya eyes him for a second. He doesn’t have a scratch on him that she can see. “With who?”

“Greyson Chance.”

Maya stares. “He’s, like, twice your size.” Which is saying a lot because Lucas is no tadpole. He’s a good ten inches above Maya already, plus he plays baseball which has given him a great physique and no lack of muscles. “Are you insane?”

“Zay got in trouble,” is all that Lucas says.

“Zay is always in trouble,” Maya says. “Why do you let him drag you into these things?”

Lucas meets her eyes, gaze hard. “Because he’s my friend.”

Maya can’t really argue with that. She gets Riley into all sorts of trouble, and Riley has never complained. Then again, Riley has never landed in detention for fighting.

What bothers her more is Lucas’ cold attitude, though she figures it’s probably warranted. She just didn’t figure it would affect her so much. She and Lucas have never been particularly good friends in the first place. She’d just seemed like an obstacle to Riley and Lucas. Most of their relationship has comprised of teasing insults and references to cowboys.

Lucas leans back and sighs. “I’ve got detention every day for two months.”

“Why not just suspend you?”

Lucas shakes his head. “I guess Mr. Matthews stepped in. He made it pretty clear I was getting off easy when he told me.”

That sounds like Mr. Matthews to Maya. Always trying to help even if he doesn’t know why.

Lucas pauses, glancing at her. “What’d you do? Something Riley couldn’t save you from?” It’s uncharacteristically bitter, which Maya thinks he doesn’t have the right to be since he dumped Riley, not the other way around.

“Talked back in physics.” Maya rolls her eyes. “Mrs. O’Connell hates me.”

“I can believe that,” Lucas mutters and Maya frowns.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Neither say anything for a moment though Maya scowls at her chair. She heard him. What does that even mean?

“So Riley didn’t try to join you?” Lucas asks after a minute, seeming to make more of an effort to be civil.

“She tried,” Maya assures him. “But she doesn’t quite have the knack for trouble-making the way we do.”

“Yeah,” Lucas agrees quietly.

Maya falls silent for a moment. She hates to admit it, but she has kind of missed talking to Lucas. He’s not nearly as brain dead as the rest of the guys in this school. It’s weird without Riley between them, no one to be a buffer when things get too intense.

She shouldn’t ask it, but she’s been dying to know and Riley has been mum on the subject since it happened, so Maya leans forward and lowers her voice slightly even though they’re completely alone.

“Why did you break up with Riley? For real?”

Lucas’ eyebrows contract and he leans back. He’s not going to tell her. He’s probably not going to tell her. Maya isn’t sure.

“I—” Lucas starts, but a jiggle at the doorknob sends them both scrambling for their seats, sliding in just as the door opens and Mrs. Petri pokes her head in, scowling.

“Did I hear talking?”

Maya and Lucas shake their heads together. So much for getting the truth, Maya thinks as Mrs. Petri takes a seat behind the big desk in the corner and glares at them as though it’s their fault she can’t finish her romance novel today. They’re forced to sit in silence and Maya is pretty sure this is how it’s all going to end. In silence and unanswered questions.

*

“How was detention?” Riley asks as they sit on the bay window since it’s far too cold out to go to the park. The window has definitely gotten smaller over the years or maybe they’ve gotten bigger. Either way, they sit there as rain streaks the window.

“Boring.” Maya doesn’t tell her about Lucas. There’s no reason to bring up their conversation or Lucas’ fight. Riley would just worry.

“Did you at least get your work done?”

“Detention isn’t for homework,” Maya points out. “It’s for torture.”

To her credit, Riley doesn’t say what Maya knows she’s thinking. That if Maya just behaved herself, she wouldn’t get detention. Maya is glad she doesn’t say it.

Riley is silent for a moment, too silent, and Maya frowns.

“What?”

“I heard Drew saying something today,” Riley says slowly, and Maya’s heart sinks. It can’t be good with that face Riley is making.

“Something what?” She isn’t sure she wants to know. Guys say all sorts of things.

Riley meets her gaze, expression sympathetic. “He was saying you guys… had sex in the locker rooms. I mean, that’s not how he put it exactly. It was definitely not appropriate.”

Maya doesn’t go around sleeping with everyone she goes out with, definitely not, but if you ask the general student body, that’s the answer you'll get. It doesn’t help when guys she said no to go around telling everyone they did.

“We didn’t,” she says, and Riley nods.

“I know. Drew’s a jerk. He just wants the attention.”

It doesn’t really make Maya feel better. Drew is telling people they did, and people will believe him. If she was a guy, she’d be getting praised in the halls, but it’s a double standard for girls. She’s a slut, a whore, easy. No matter she hasn’t done half the things people say.

What she has done is her own business, hers and the people she does it with.

Maybe she can get Lucas to punch him for her.

“Do you think college will be like this?” Maya asks, and Riley shakes her head.

“College is going to be amazing. And we can go anywhere.”

It’s a long ways away, but it gives Maya hope. Maybe boys aren’t always stupid. She can hope anyway.

*

Drew sits in the back of Maya and Riley’s physics class, and Maya does her best to ignore him. He’s always been kind of slimy, but he has soft hair and a dimple on his cheek that had made Maya reconsider dating him for those few weeks they had gone out. The dimple is not nearly as cute when he’s going around telling people they hooked up at school.

Maya isn’t sure she understands boys. She used to think she understood them pretty well. After all, she’s seen all the guys her mom has gone through, each one worse than the last. She thought she was smarter than that. It turns out she isn’t.

She wants to ask why they feel the need to lie. She considers asking Farkle, but Farkle isn’t the typical guy. He’s bookish and smart and no one would believe him if he said he slept with a girl in the locker rooms. Not that Farkle would, but he’s not the ideal resource for this question.

Maya contemplates the problem as she sits in class, spacing out what Mrs. O’Connell is saying about inertia. She can feel Drew behind her, even though he hasn’t done anything to her. He hasn’t spoken to her since they stopped going out. The only thing he’s done is spread rumors.

Who would know the answer to this question, she thinks. Honestly, she doesn’t have that many guy friends. She doesn’t have that many friends, period. Riley would have no clue and Farkle is useless. The only person who might even have a glimmer of insight into the problem would be Lucas, and she can’t talk to Lucas.

Or can she?

“Ms. Hart.” Mrs. O’Connell towers over Maya’s desk, looking down her pointed nose at her.

“Huh?” Maya asks, dimly aware of Drew’s snicker in the back and Riley’s pained expression that says she can’t help her this time.

“I don’t suppose you’d like to answer the question posed on Newton’s First Law?”

“Don’t talk about Fight Club?” she says and the class laughs. Riley grimaces.

“Detention, Ms. Hart,” Mrs. O’Connell says as though she isn’t surprised. 

Maya would be annoyed, but she’s just figured out a way to talk to Lucas that doesn’t hurt anything but her permanent record.

“Mrs. O’Connell,” Riley says, standing up, but Mrs. O’Connell fixes her with a withering stare and she shrinks back into her chair.

“Sit down, Ms. Matthews,” she says sternly, and Riley obeys without a word, shrugging at Maya helplessly, but Maya doesn’t care. She’s found a solution to her problem.

*

“Afternoon, Huckleberry,” Maya says as she drops her bag on the floor and slides into her seat.

“Maya, we have to stop meeting like this,” Lucas says in a deadpan and Maya wonders if she’s rubbed off on him a little too much over the years.

The rest of the seats are empty in the classroom. No one else apparently has detention, but Maya is glad. She has something to ask Lucas, and she would rather no one else added to the conversation.

She doesn’t get to ask her question yet, as Mr. Norman, the overweight gym teacher, enters. His bushy grey mustache twitches as he turns to them.

“You know the rules. This is detention, not a party. I don’t have time to babysit. Behave yourselves.”

With that, he leaves them in the classroom. Maya wonders if that’s how detention is actually supposed to go, but she’s not complaining.

Turning around, she climbs onto her desk, and Lucas does the same to face her.

“What’d you do this time?” he asks, elbows on his knees as he leans forward.

“Nothing important.” She waves the question away. “I wanted to ask you something.”

Lucas’ eyebrows go up, surprised, but he says nothing.

She hesitates. Maybe she shouldn’t ask. What will an answer really do for her? Help her understand the male psyche? Does she really need to do that and reveal her insecurities to Lucas at the same time? Their relationship has never been like that. Lucas knows as many secrets about her as she does laws of physics. That is to say, very few.

“Maya?” he says after a minute as she contemplates.

Well, she figures at length, no one else will know the answer, at least no one she wouldn’t mind asking.

“I just wanted to know why guys lie about things they do with girls.”

Lucas frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Say you date a guy and after you break up, he tells everyone that you did stuff you didn’t.”

“I haven’t said anything about Riley,” Lucas says quickly, but Maya rolls her eyes.

“I’m not talking about you, Hop-a-long.”

“Oh.” He pauses. “Who are you talking about?”

Maya sighs. She doesn’t want to get into the details. “It doesn’t matter. I just want to know why guys do it. Are they all pre-programmed to be jerks?”

“I don’t know,” Lucas says, and when Maya shoots him a look, he shrugs. “I don’t know, Maya. I would never do that.”

“But other guys do. What do they get out of it?”

Lucas shakes his head, falling silent for a moment as he thinks. “I guess they don’t want to admit they didn’t do anything? Or maybe, I mean, guys are pressured to have sex and mess around with girls.”

“And girls get the exact opposite,” Maya points out. “It’s not fair.”

“It’s not,” Lucas agrees. “Guys just make it up because they feel like they have to or their friends will think they’re wimps.”

“Maybe they need better friends,” Maya mutters. It isn’t the answer she’d hoped for. Apparently all guys are dicks.

“It’s not easy to make new friends.”

Maya doesn’t reply, but she gets the feeling that comment is aimed at her. She can’t help what happened with Riley and Lucas.

“I saw Greyson,” she says instead, changing the subject. “That’s a nice black eye you gave him.”

Lucas doesn’t smile. “I’m not exactly proud.”

“Why? You pack a great punch, Huckleberry. Who knew you had it in you?”

“I guess I’m just lucky I didn’t get suspended. My parents aren’t happy as it is.”

“Who cares what parents think?” Maya shrugs. “My mom doesn’t even know I’m in detention and I don’t plan on telling her.”

“I think my parents would notice if I hadn’t told them. Since Riley and I broke up, I don’t really have much excuse not to be home.”

“Go to the park,” Maya suggest. “Hang out.”

“Alone?”

“Hang out with Zay.”

“And get in more trouble,” Lucas says with a sigh. “I think I’m better off here to be honest.”

“It’s kind of sad when you prefer detention,” Maya says with a smile.

“Yeah,” Lucas agrees, but then he smiles back, and for the first time in months, Maya realizes she missed it.

*

The worst part of the upcoming holidays is all the plan-making, or rather, Maya’s lack of it. They can never afford to go skiing for Christmas or to visit relatives, what little they have, in another state. Usually, it’s not a problem because Maya goes over to the Matthews and celebrates holidays with them. Not this year.

“You’re going to Pennsylvania,” Maya says, tugging her scarf tighter as they sit on the bench. It hasn’t snowed yet but she’s betting on Thanksgiving this year.

“You could come with us,” Riley says. “I know my parents wouldn’t mind.”

Thanksgiving is still two and a half weeks away, but it could be a century for all Maya’s concerned. It looks like she’ll be alone this year.

“No,” Maya says because she’s imposed on too many family holidays already, and a whole weekend in Pittsburgh might be just too much. “I’ll be fine here.”

She and her mom will have store-bought baked chicken and microwave mashed potatoes, a pie from the bakery. Not much but still something.

Riley doesn’t look as though she believes her. Wind blows her hair across her face, and she shakes it aside. Her cheeks are pink from the cold. They should go inside, to Riley’s house or the bakery, but Maya likes it out here. It might be bitterly cold but it matches her heart. Or something less dramatic.

“Besides, there’s no good shopping for Black Friday in Pittsburgh,” she says, though it’s a flimsy reason. She won’t be shopping. She doesn’t have money for shopping.

“I’ll text you every hour,” Riley promises, but Maya laughs

“I can be alone for one weekend. How much trouble could I get into?”

Riley hesitates and Maya sighs.

“I’ll be fine. Seriously, Riley.”

“Okay,” Riley agrees finally. “But you can still come.”

Maya smiles at Riley’s generosity. “Thanks.”

They don’t leave the bench despite the chilling wind and the last leaf of fall tumbles over Maya’s boot.

*

“No, no way, Cowboy,” Maya says, pushing Lucas’ hand away from where he’s trying to put down a card. “I was first.”

“The game is Speed, Maya. Your card is above mine. And now we’re wasting time arguing about it.”

They’re playing on the desk in between them as the clock ticks by the last half an hour of detention in the background. Maya doesn’t take her card away. She was first.

A part of her doesn’t know how she ended up here. Detention isn’t something she’s supposed to want to get. It isn’t something that’s supposed to make her not hand in her homework in physics despite the fact that it’s tucked safely in her notebook.

“What’s your hurry?” she asks stubbornly. “We’ve still got time.”

“I want to beat you.”

“You think you can?” she says, arching an eyebrow. Technically, his card is below hers, but she’s not budging. And no one else can play until she concedes. 

“If you’d move your hand, yes,” Lucas says with a small smile. “But you’re so damn stubborn, Hart.”

“Oh, Friar, so naive,” Maya drawls. “Okay. I will give you this one, out of the graciousness of my heart.”

“Yeah, you have that?” Lucas asks as Maya takes her card back.

It only takes seconds for the game to end after that, and Maya slaps down her last card triumphantly.

“Hah! Come on, say it, Huckleberry.” She grins as he makes a face and tosses down the few remaining cards in his hand.

“I’m not saying it,” he says, shaking his head and leaning back.

Maya tilts her head to the side. “You owe me. I let you have that card.”

Lucas sighs, but it’s less put-upon than usual. “Fine. You won. Are you happy?”

Maya smiles. “Very happy.” Gathering the cards, she shuffles them together. Lucas watches her do it. 

Maya shouldn’t be in detention, but with Riley’s news about the holidays, she just wants someone to talk to, someone that’s not Riley for once. Farkle is the other obvious choice, but he’s got Smackle and Maya is tired of being a third wheel.

She supposes she could always go on a date, maybe find someone who isn’t awful to talk to. The only guys that have asked her out lately are all people she wouldn’t be caught dead with. She gets the feeling Drew’s rumors are spreading further than she’d like.

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” Lucas asks after a minute as Maya tucks the cards back in their pack and throws them in her bag. “Going to the Matthews’?”

“They’re going to Pennsylvania,” she replies, pulling her long hair into a ponytail.

“You’re not going with them?”

“Not this year.” Maya’s seventeen. Isn’t it time she figured out what to do with herself? She can’t always rely on Riley for family. “I’m guessing you’re heading off to the wild blue yonder?”

“No, no Texas this year,” Lucas says. “My parents are still pissed about this whole detention thing. They seem to think going back would be a reward. So we’re staying here.”

The way he says it makes Maya pause, glancing up at him. He looks different than when they first met, so many years ago. His hair is a little longer, a little less styled. His jaw is so sharp it could probably cut glass, and he’s filled out quite a bit over the years.

“Would it be a reward?” she asks curiously. She’s always sort of assumed he liked Texas.

Lucas shrugs vaguely. “I mean, I like Texas but it’s not home anymore. It never snows and I’ve always kinda wanted to see the parade in real life, not on TV.”

“No real New Yorker goes to see the parade,” Maya assures him. “They might be in it, but—”

“Wait, have you been in the parade?” Lucas interrupts.

“It was a long time ago,” she says, cursing herself for bringing it up.

“What were you?” he asks eagerly, eyes bright, grinning at her.

She’s going to regret tell him. She can already feel it, but she sucks it up. “I was on a float. One of those dancing kids on those singer floats.” She cringes as he laughs. “Shut up!” She smacks his arm. “You cannot tell anyone.”

“Who was it?” he manages to ask in between laughs.

“Raven Symone.” Maya glares as Lucas laughs harder. “Stop it!”

He tries to stop laughing, but it takes him a few tries. “I’m sorry. I just can’t picture you.” He shakes his head and wipes tears from his eyes. “Was it, like, a Disney float? Were there puppet creatures?”

“Oh my God, I’m never telling you anything again.” Crossing her arms, Maya glares. She hasn’t told anyone about that in years. It was just a fluke thing. The guy running the float had been dating her mother at the time.

Lucas schools his face back to neutral, though Maya catches a hint of a smile anyway. “I won’t tell anyone. But I’m definitely gonna look this up on Youtube when I get home. What year was it?”

“I hate you.”

“I’ll just look up what year Raven was in the parade. Shouldn’t be too hard.”

“I’m going to murder you in your sleep, Huckleberry,” she threatens him, but he doesn’t seem concerned as he grins.

“Sure,” he says, but before she can kill him, the classroom door handle jiggles and they move quickly back to their seats before the teacher enters to let them go.

*

“Maya,” Mr. Matthews says as she tries to leave his class. Reluctantly, she hangs back. Riley stops at the door.

“Yes, Mr. Matthews?” Maya asks, forcing herself not to grimace. She doesn’t want to listen to a lecture, and she’s sure one is coming.

“I noticed you’ve been getting a lot of detentions lately. And not from me.”

“Is that a problem?”

“I just, I don’t understand why,” he says with a frown. “Mrs. O’Connell says you’re talking back, not doing the homework. Not all teachers are as understanding as I am.”

“You mean not as much of a pushover,” Maya says, and she knows she shouldn’t before it comes out of her mouth.

“Maya!” Riley hisses, and Mr. Matthews, for his part, seems surprised.

“Well, if that’s how you want to play it. Detention, Maya. For a week.”

“Daddy,” Riley tries to interrupt, but he holds up a hand. 

“You don’t want to join her, Riley.”

“Are we done?” Maya asks, adjusting the bag on her shoulder.

He sighs and gestures towards the door. Maya passes Riley’s open mouth. Riley hurries after her.

“What are you doing?” she demands as Maya heads for her locker. “If you apologize, he’ll take it back.”

“It’s fine, Riley,” Maya assures her. “It’s just detention.” She’d rather be in detention than at home listening to her mom memorize lines for auditions she’ll never get. She’d rather be there than out with another guy who’ll just make up stories about what they did or didn’t do.

Opening her locker, she stuffs her history book inside. Besides, this saves her from going another week without turning in homework in physics. She can’t exactly fall that behind.

“So then Drew said she got all clingy and that’s why he dumped her.”

Missy passes behind them, her voice carrying to Maya.

“Missy,” she says, shutting her locker and turning.

“ _Marissa_.”

“Drew and I didn’t do any of those things. I dumped him.”

“Sure, you did,” Missy says, her voice doubtful. “You know, jealousy doesn’t suit you. Drew and I are dating now. You messed up.”

Maya stares as anger boils deep inside her. “I am not jealous,” she snaps, but Missy sweeps her long brown hair over her shoulder and makes a face that Maya wants to slap off.

“We all know where you’ve been, Maya,” she says. “You’re lucky any guy even looks at you.”

That was it. That bitch. Maya lunges, but something has her arm, holding her back. Missy lets out a shriek and jerks back, startled for a second.

“Riley, let go of me,” Maya growls as Missy and her friend scurry away. Good thing too or else she might have gotten a black eye to match Greyson’s.

“So you can hit her? It’ll be another month of detention!” Riley doesn’t let go despite Maya’s tugging. Riley’s stronger than she looks.

“Who cares!” Maya yanks her arm away finally but she doesn’t go after Missy. Her blood is boiling, pounding in her ears, and all she sees is white spots on the edge of her vision. She wants to kill Missy. And then Drew. And then both of them together.

“I care! It’s not worth it,” Riley says, and Maya huffs, grabbing her bag off the floor. The rest of the people in the hall are giving them a wide berth.

It seems worth it to Maya, to wipe that smug, evil, son of a—she can’t even think straight. “If someone was saying that about you, you might feel differently, Riley.”

“I know. It’s awful. They are awful people,” Riley says sincerely. “But hitting Missy won’t help anything.”

“It’ll help me.” Maya scowls and pushes her hair back. “I just wanna—” She mimes wringing someone’s neck with a growl.

“We both know that Drew’s lying,” Riley says calmly, petting Maya’s hair softly. “That’s all that matters.”

It isn’t quite, especially when Maya notices the guys who pass giving her appreciative glances. She glares right back. She doesn’t want to care what people think, but they’re in high school. It’s a fishbowl. There is no escape.

*

Thanksgiving is three days away. Maya isn’t counting the days because it means four whole days with her mother. Okay, at least one. She’ll probably be working the rest. That means three whole days alone for Maya. Maya doesn’t do so well alone.

“You could come over to my house,” Lucas suggests as they sit on the desks and watch snow falling outside. Maya’s prediction was just a few days off.

“I can’t,” she says quickly.

“Right.” Lucas nods. “We’re not supposed to be friends anymore.”

Maya glances at him, but he’s watching the snow. He doesn’t bring it up much, but they both know it’s there. They’re not supposed to be talking, having fun in detention. Riley doesn’t even know about Lucas in detention. Maya doesn’t plan on telling her either. It would just be weird.

She wants to say something to refute his statement, but she can’t think of any way they could do this without Riley getting upset. It’s been two months since they broke up but Maya doesn’t think either of them have moved on. Neither have dated anyone anyway.

“You shouldn’t keep doing this,” Lucas says at length, frowning at the snow.

“Doing what?”

He looks at her this time. “Getting detention.”

Maya scoffs. “You think I’m getting detention on purpose? There are so many other things I could be doing right now, and none of them involve you.” She nudges his shoulder easily and smiles.

“Okay,” he says, but he doesn’t smile.

“What’s wrong now, Huckleberry?” she asks. “Doggies got you down?”

“You know when they say doggies, they mean cows?”

Maya smiles and shakes her head. “I do. I do my research.” She doesn’t understand why Lucas is so down today. She’s the one who should be upset. Riley’s about to leave her for four days, and she’s had to stop herself from hitting Missy every time she’s seen her so far. She doesn’t know how much longer she can last. “Hey, cheer up, kid. You’re about to get four days off school. And you’re getting snow.”

“I guess,” he agrees.

“See, life isn’t so bad.” Maya can’t say she 100% agrees with that, but one of them has to be positive here or else they’ll both be stewing over their respective problems in silence.

Lucas glances at her and smiles briefly. “Yeah, it’s not so bad.”

Shifting, Maya looks back to the window, unsure about the feeling that just stole over her, somewhere between unease and excitement. Pushing it away, she focuses on the snow flakes floating past and the promise of snowmen later.

*

Riley texts her every hour, just like she promised. Maya would find it annoying, but she just finds it endearing as her phone pings again with a new text, this one about Uncle Eric’s beard. With the texts, it gets Maya all the way through Thursday, past dinner and to watching _The Music Man_ on cable with her mother. As she lays in bed, her phone pings again and Maya smiles before she even reaches for it.

_Happy Thanksgiving, Maya._

It isn’t from Riley this time. It’s from Lucas. For a long moment, she stares at the words. They don’t change. The screen dims but she brings it back. It’s just three words, but they seem to mean so much more than that. Maya can’t explain it.

Finally, she types in her reply and hits send. Rolling over, she closes her eyes and doesn’t wake up when Riley texts her half an hour later.

_Happy Thanksgiving, Lucas._

*

Maya doesn’t go shopping on Friday. Even if she had money, she doesn’t want to brave those crowds for a pair of pants. Instead, she spends the day in the bakery where it’s warm and people bundle in with their shopping for a piece of pie. 

Saturday is spent much the same. It’s snowing again, the streets filling up with white, covering up the grey mush from last time. Her mother works the register and serves the customers. It’s different without Riley there to talk to. At least with people around, Maya doesn’t feel so alone.

“Lucas!”

Maya straightens up in her chair as her mother’s voice rings out. Lucas is standing in the doorway, brushing snow off his coat and shoes before coming in. He meets Maya’s gaze before her mother’s, almost a cautious glance as though unsure he should be there.

“We haven’t seen you around here for a long while,” Maya’s mom says, ushering Lucas into the bakery. “Come in! Take off your coat.”

Lucas doesn’t. Instead, he smiles his charming smile. “I just came by for some cookies. My parents wanted them for dinner.”

“Of course,” her mom rounds the counter. “Which ones?”

Maya sits up in her chair, watching Lucas get the cookies. It feels like he isn’t supposed to be here, like he’s crossed some kind of imaginary threshold. As the cookies are rung up, Maya finds she’s actually glad to see him.

“Don’t disappear again,” Maya’s mom says when Lucas takes the cookies and puts them in a shoulder bag.

“I’ll see you, Ms. Hart,” he says politely, turning to face Maya behind him. He doesn’t say anything but nods sort of awkwardly.

The door jingles behind him and Maya frowns.

“I miss that boy’s smile,” her mom says from behind her. With a wistful sigh, she returns to wiping down tables.

“I’m gonna head home,” Maya says, standing abruptly and pulling on her coat and scarf.

“Okay!”

She practically bolts out the door but forcefully slows herself down. This is Lucas, she’s talking about. He’s not worth bolting, or slipping and breaking her neck on the icy stairs.

She knows the way Lucas will have gone, towards the subway stop. Pushing through people already doing their Christmas shopping, she spots Lucas near the entrance. The rational part of her doesn’t know why she’s going after him in the first place. Maybe she feels bad for rejecting his invitation to dinner the other day. Maybe she’s just lonely. She’ll justify it later.

“Wait up, Hop-a-long,” she says as she reaches him, a few steps before the staircase to the subway.

Lucas pauses, confused. “Did I forget something?”

Now that she’s here, Maya is starting to rethink coming after him. What was she thinking?

“No. I’m just heading home. Thought I’d join you.” It’s a bad excuse, but she can’t think of anything else.

Lucas doesn’t reply for a second and people push past them. After a minute, he clears his throat. “There’s another subway entrance across the park.”

“Yeah, okay,” Maya says without thinking. Snow settles thick on her coat and she should have worn a hat, but she hadn’t expected to take a stroll in the park.

They turn from the subway entrance and cross the street. It’s less of a park, more of a “green space” as the city calls them. The green is all covered in snow, though, as they walk down the winding pathway. 

“How was Thanksgiving?” Lucas asks, hands tucked in his pockets.

“Not bad,” Maya concedes. “Riley texted me every five minutes, so it wasn’t like I was alone.”

“She’s a good friend.”

“Yeah, she is.” Maya glances at Lucas. She never did get an answer to why they broke up. It’s been months and all she’s gotten out of Riley is that “they didn’t work.” It’s kind of ridiculous considering how similar Lucas and Riley really are. What could not work?

They’re the only ones in the park, and their footprints follow them down the pathway. For a minute or two, neither of them speak. The snow makes everything quiet, quieter than normal. It would be disturbing normally, for Maya, but it’s nice this time.

“So your mom sent you out in a snowstorm for cookies?” she asks as the end of the park comes into view. She’s cold, her hands freezing even with gloves and shoved deep in her pockets.

“Southerners love their pralines,” he says with a shrug and they both seem to stop walking at the same time.

“She couldn’t make them?”

Lucas smiles. “You’ve never been to my house. My mom doesn’t cook. She ordered Thanksgiving dinner in. It tasted great but it was from a service.”

“Huh, I didn’t know that.” Maya has never thought to ask. “My mom’s the same.”

There are snowflakes clinging to Lucas’ eyebrows as they stand there. Maya thinks that something should be happening, though she doesn’t know what. Everything is silent except for a pile of snow as it falls in a slump off a nearby tree branch.

“We should probably,” she says, gesturing with her shoulder toward the gate out of the park.

Lucas doesn’t move towards the exit. Instead, he takes a shuffling step closer, snow piling up around their feet. If they don’t move soon, they’re going to be walking snowmen.

Maya sees it happening, Lucas leaning in, slowly, carefully, giving her time to stop him. She doesn’t.

His lips press against hers, cold and slightly chapped. For a second, nothing else happens and the moment is frozen, just like everything else around them. Lucas shifts, though, and Maya’s lips part and she kisses back. Her eyes close. She can feel snowflakes hitting her face, icy and sharp as they melt. 

The kiss is soft, and the world melts away for just a minute. Something tingles on Maya’s skin and she thinks it must be the cold, but it wasn’t there before.

Lucas pulls away first, straightening up, and Maya opens her eyes. Her lips are still parted and she draws in a breath. Everything comes rushing back in a blur and she stumbles back a step. What is she doing?

“I should go,” Lucas says as though he hasn’t just kissed her, but something in his gaze makes Maya sure he knows what just happened.

“Yeah, I have to—” She gestures because she can’t find words. Normally, she might have shoved him and demanded an explanation but her brain isn’t working. She isn’t sure she’s shivering from the cold anymore. She feels shaky, like she might be sick.

“I’ll see you later,” Lucas says, turning and heading for the exit. Maya can’t respond. She can’t do anything but stare after him.

She has to get out of the snow before she catches pneumonia, but it takes all her will to get herself to turn around and head toward the opposite subway entrance. She can’t explain why that just happened. She’s not even supposed to be talking to Lucas, let alone kissing him. If Riley ever finds out, she’ll be devastated. 

Shaking the snow out of her hair, Maya picks up the pace and reaches the subway a few minutes later. She’s going to go home, take a nice, hot shower, and forget this ever happened.

*

The Matthews get back late Sunday, so Maya doesn’t see Riley until Monday morning. Riley bounces in to school, seeming much more like her old self than she has been in months.

“Maya!” she says brightly as she finds her in the hall. 

“You’re chipper,” Maya says, accepting the hug Riley gives her. Riley beams.

“It was a great holiday. And I got you something!”

“What?” Maya watches apprehensively as Riley digs in her bag and comes up with a deep maroon sweatshirt.

Riley unfolds it with a flick. “Pennbrook Penguins!” She shoves the sweatshirt at Maya. “We visited the campus. Did you know my dad played the mascot once?”

“Really?” Maya asks with a smirk. “I must remember to tease him about that in the future.”

Riley smiles. “How was your weekend? Not too lonely?”

“It was… interesting,” Maya says. She has no intention of telling Riley about the whole Lucas thing. That’s one way to ruin this new good mood of hers.

“Well, it’s over. And Christmas is coming! If we go anywhere, you _have_ to come with us.”

“Of course.”

Riley really does seem happier. Maybe she’d needed a vacation.

“Hey, Maya, wanna go out this weekend? My closet’s free.” 

Maya glares at Dean as he makes a lewd gesture and passes by her to the classroom.

“Ew,” Riley says, frowning.

“Yeah.” Maya shuts her locker and stuffs the sweatshirt into her bag. She’d hoped that things would die down since Missy is dating Drew, but it had just made things worse. Missy has been spreading even more rumors about her. It’s a miracle the teachers haven’t heard them, but they're usually pretty oblivious to student drama.

“Let’s go to class,” Riley suggests, but Maya doesn’t miss the few guys’ eyes on her as they leave. What could Missy be saying about her now? She doesn’t even want to know.

*

Unfortunately, the detention Mr. Matthews gave her before break isn’t over yet. She has one more day before she can vow to never get detention again. She considers skipping, but skipping will get her more which means more time with Lucas. Which was the whole point of this, wasn’t it?

Okay, so she doesn’t always think things through. This is one of those times.

That afternoon, she doesn’t greet Lucas, and when the teacher leaves them in the classroom, she pulls a sketchbook out of her bag instead. Lucas, at least, doesn’t try to talk to her right away either.

It feels strange now, like they’ve crossed some line and they can’t go back. Maya can only hope Lucas doesn’t bring it up, but with an hour and a half to go, she doesn’t think she’ll get that lucky.

She concentrates on her drawing, the only sound in the classroom the scratch of her pencil.

“That’s really good.”

It takes Lucas ten minutes to speak. Maya times it. She doesn’t acknowledge him, shading in the drawing. It’s a sketch of Riley, just something she’s been working on for a while.

“Are we back to not talking?” he asks when she doesn’t reply.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she says, speaking to her sketchbook.

Lucas hesitates. Maya can feel it. 

“It’d be nice if you acknowledged me.”

Maya doesn’t want to do this, but it seems there’s no way around it. She can’t exactly ignore him for a whole hour. 

Setting down her pencil, she twists in her chair to face him. “What do you want to talk about?”

He looks worried, a crease along his brow that isn’t usually there. “Are you mad at me? Because we kissed?”

Maya should know what to say here. She’s thought about this a lot since it happened. She spent all of Sunday going over it, all the possibilities, if she should have stopped it. If she wanted to stop it. 

“Yes, I am mad,” she says finally. “I’m confused.”

“About what?”

“About what?” she repeats incredulously. “You dated my best friend for an entire year. You broke up with her with hardly any explanation, and then the other day, you kissed me out of nowhere. Do you not see what’s confusing about that?”

Lucas and her have never really been friends, not _really_. They hung out together and did class projects together, but they have never been friends of the traditional sort. Riley has always been there, in between them, and without that barrier, it worries Maya what they really are.

“I thought it was kind of obvious,” Lucas says with a frown and Maya can’t help scoffing. Does he even realize what he’s done? It isn’t just a kiss. It’s opening up a whole can of worms they can’t put back.

“Maybe in Cowboy Logic, it makes sense,” she snaps, crossing her arms. She’d rather not be talking about this. She’d rather be pretending it didn’t happen. “But us city folk need a few more details.”

Lucas sighs, shoulders slumping. He stares at her for a long enough moment that it makes her uncomfortable under his gaze. This isn’t supposed to happen. She’s only in detention because… she doesn’t know exactly. It’s become a thing somehow, with Lucas, and now she worries she can’t go back.

“I like you,” Lucas says, expression sincere, and Maya’s stomach curls.

“You don’t like me,” she says immediately. It’s such a ridiculous idea. Everyone has always known how Riley and Lucas’ story would go. It may have hit a bump, but Maya isn’t going to be that bump. “We don’t like each other. You and Riley are the perfect couple.”

“We broke up. We’re not the perfect couple.” Lucas sighs, frustrated. “I wish people would stop saying that. That was years ago. We’ve grown up. We’re not the same people we were then. You can’t expect two people to meet in eighth grade and be together forever.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Matthews did,” Maya points out. She doesn’t like where this is going. If Lucas really doesn’t want to date Riley anymore, that means the kiss was something way more than she’s rationalized it down to.

“They’re weird,” Lucas says. “Most people aren’t like that.”

Maya’s heart has started to thud in her chest, that same feeling she’d had when Lucas had left her in the snow. Somehow, she’d managed to convince herself over the weekend that the kiss had been some sort of weird fluke. With the snow and the trees and New York. It happens in movies.

“You don’t like me,” she says again and Lucas frowns.

“Stop saying that. I kissed you because I wanted to.”

It isn’t the answer Maya is expecting, and her reply catches in her throat.

“You… wanted to?” she repeats, as though the concept is foreign to her. It isn’t. Plenty of people have said similar things. They wanted to date her. They wanted to make out with her in her living room when her mom wasn’t home. No one has ever just wanted to kiss her, though, not the way Lucas says it, completely sincere.

It freaks her out a little.

“And I thought maybe you wanted to too,” Lucas says slowly, watching her carefully. Maya doesn’t even know what she’s thinking anymore. “You keep getting detention and there were moments I thought…”

Maya doesn’t know what makes her do it. It’s a terrible decision. It won’t solve any problem, especially not the one they currently have. But she does it anyway. Moving up, she leans over the desk between them and kisses him. It isn’t the most eloquent solution, and she’s probably going to regret it in about five minutes, but she does it anyway.

He’s taken by surprise, and it’s awkward with the desk in between them, digging into Maya’s stomach as she leans forward. But their mouths melt together and Lucas slides a warm hand up her neck as their tongues meet, sweeping together, and a warmth spreads all the way down to Maya’s toes. No other kiss has ever felt like this, and for just a second, she doesn’t care about the repercussions.

It all comes rushing back the second Lucas deepens the kiss. Jerking back, she shakes her head. What has she done? 

“No, no,” she says sharply, turning from him and staring at her sketchpad. She is _not_ the kind of girl who goes around kissing her best friend’s ex, especially for no reason other than… well, she doesn’t know the reason. Another fluke? Or something worse.

“Maya,” Lucas says finally but she shakes her head.

“This was a mistake. It was nothing. It didn’t happen, you understand?”

For a long minute, there’s nothing but silence behind her. He has to agree. He has to agree or else Maya doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t like the uneasiness filling her, something squeezing her chest.

“Lucas?” she threatens, not daring to look back at him.

Another pause. “Okay,” he says finally.

His answer doesn’t make her feel any better, and she slumps into her chair, waiting for detention to end.

*

Maya tells herself that it’s over now. She can forget about the detentions, the kiss, Lucas. It was easy enough to ignore him the last couple months. Why does it have to be any different now?

Because she can’t stop thinking about it. Not just the kiss, but what he said. The idea of Lucas liking her is completely stupid. They’re like oil and water. They have nothing in common. Before last month, they’d never had a one-on-one conversation.

It isn’t as easy to forget as she hopes, especially when Lucas is everywhere she turns. He sits behind her in history, has a locker around the corner, and she sees him sloping off to detention after class. Maya is good, though. She turns in her homework in physics and doesn’t talk back at all. She’s a model student for once.

“I’m glad you’re back,” Riley says, hugging her books to her chest as they stand at their lockers.

“Where did I go?” Maya pulls out her math book and ignores the look she gets from a passing upperclassman.

“I was just worried you’d be in detention forever.”

“Well, I’m done,” Maya assures her, and Riley smiles, looking relieved.

“Was it something with your mom?”

Maya frowns. “What?”

Riley shrugs. “My dad says sometimes people act out when they’re upset about something.”

“And your dad knows everything, does he?” Maya asks, a little too sharply. She knows it’s the wrong thing to do when Riley’s face falls. “Sorry. I’m just… tired.”

Riley nods, ever the forgiving soul. “It’s almost winter break. We can spend the whole time eating cookies at the bakery and getting fat.”

Maya smiles briefly. Riley tries so hard to keep everyone in her life happy. It’s a noble goal but usually unachievable. 

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

“Don’t get too fat or the guys won’t want you anymore,” Missy says from where she’s passing behind them. “Not that any do now.”

Maya turns, well aware that Riley is ready to stop her at any moment.

“What is your problem, _Missy_?” Maya demands. “Couldn’t get a good boyfriend, so you had to settle for Drew’s lying ass?”

“Everyone knows where you’ve been,” Missy replies sharply, sweeping her hair back in a gesture that makes Maya want to strangle her. “Drew’s way to good for you.”

The only thing preventing Maya from slapping Missy silly is Riley’s hand on her arm, her grip light but warning.

“If everyone knows where I’ve been then you know where Drew has too,” she snaps. She wants to leave a mark across Missy’s face so everyone will know not to get on her bad side, but Riley is there, stopping her. Between Missy and Lucas, Maya could gladly take out her frustrations on someone.

Missy glares, as though Maya cut her deeply, but not deeply enough in Maya’s opinion. She wants to make her bleed, literally or figuratively. She’ll take either.

“At least I’m not a whore,” Missy spits, as though the word is beneath her.

Maya yanks her arm from Riley’s grip, lurching forward, but someone else gets there first. Riley’s palm smacks across Missy’s cheek, leaving a stinging print behind.

They both seem too surprised to react for a minute, but then Missy stumbles away, her friends immediately engulfing her. Maya stares at Riley, who looks shocked as she stares at her own hand.

Maya has never seen Riley be violent with anyone. She’s always preaching restraint to Maya, that words solve problems, not fists, but she’s just hit Missy. Maya never thought she’d see the day.

“Riley?” she says when the shock seems to pass and Riley grimaces as she rubs her palm. She doesn’t look guilty.

“I couldn’t let her say that about you.”

A huge rush of appreciation washes over Maya. She seriously could not have a better best friend. And that might be why the appreciation is followed by another wave of guilt. She hasn’t told Riley about the kiss or the conflicting feelings she’s having for Lucas. She’s a terrible friend.

She pushes that away for the moment. She doesn’t even know what she feels about Lucas.

“Thank you,” she says instead, and Riley nods but then worry crosses her face.

“What if I get in trouble?”

Maya smiles. “Who’s gonna believe that you hit her?”

Riley still looks worried, but Maya takes her arm and leads her toward class. She’s lucky to have such a good friend.

*

Riley doesn’t get in trouble. None of them do. Maya gets the feeling Missy is too embarrassed to admit Riley slapped her. Also, there’s the fact that no one believes Riley capable of violence.

For the most part, during the past week at least, Maya has managed to avoid thinking about Lucas, especially after that whole Missy thing. Missy, for her part, has slunk around the halls giving her dirty looks rather than say anything else for now. At least it’s quiet. For a little while.

Without Missy to worry about, though, it’s incredibly easy to let her mind wander to Lucas. In class, when Mrs. O’Connell is droning on about some other law of physics, Maya gazes at the white board, lost in thought.

Lucas kissed her, and she kissed Lucas. As much as she would like the answer to be that they both went momentarily insane, she isn’t sure that’s it. She doesn’t like Lucas, that much she is… unsure of. She’s never thought about him as anything other than Riley’s crush. That’s what he is. He was that, then her boyfriend, now her ex. He’s not what Maya is supposed to be thinking about during physics class.

She tries to focus on what Mrs. O’Connell is saying, but it’s so boring. Her mind drifts to detention where Lucas will be sitting later today, probably alone these days. It hadn’t been terrible, being there with him. Hell, she’d even made it happen on occasion. Maybe that’s where he got the idea…

But that is ridiculous. Why on earth would Maya purposefully get detention just to _talk_ to him? _Because_ , a little annoying voice in the back of her head says, _You_ wanted _to talk to him. You wanted to see him. You missed him._

Maya shakes her head, a tiny jerk that Riley looks over at. She did not miss Lucas. That is the stupidest thing she’s ever heard. Lucas and Riley breaking up had changed nothing. Except the entire dynamic.

“Ms. Hart.”

Maya looks up as Mrs. O’Connell says her name. The rest of the class has left but Riley hovers in the doorway. The bell must have rung. Mrs. O’Connell gives Riley a look and she scurries away, at least around the door frame.

“Yes?” Maya says. She doesn’t want detention again.

“You’ve been doing much better this past week,” Mrs. O’Connell says, “but I wonder if it has less to do with me and more to do with someone else.”

Maya’s eyes widen but she scowls a second later. Mrs. O’Connell doesn’t know anything. She’s an old, grumpy science teacher.

When Maya doesn’t reply, Mrs. O’Connell makes a noise. “I won’t give you detention this time, but I think that might be rather what you wanted.”

“Can I go?” Maya asks instead of answering the unspoken question.

“Of course.” Mrs. O’Connell stands back and lets Maya leave, stuffing her unused book in her bag. Mrs. O’Connell has no idea what she wants.

Out in the hall, Maya searches for Riley. She can’t have gone far.

Her heart jumps into her throat when she catches sight of Riley finally, over by the stairs, talking to Lucas. A momentary panic takes over her and she has the urge to flee or maybe march right up and stop Lucas from saying whatever he’s saying.

She does neither of those things, lurking by the classroom door until Lucas leaves, which doesn’t take long. As soon as he’s out of earshot, she pounces on Riley.

“What was he doing?” she asks, hoping she sounds casual enough that it doesn’t seem like she cares. Because she doesn’t care. Unless he was saying something about her.

Riley doesn’t seem upset like Maya thought she might be. After all, she and Lucas haven’t spoken since September.

Riley frowns at something in her hand, a necklace with a small pendant on it.

“He was returning it,” Riley says. “I forgot I gave it to him.”

Relief fills Maya. He wasn’t talking about her. She supposes she should have known better. Lucas has never gone back on his word before. The idea of him telling Riley about… She doesn’t even want to think about it.

“I guess it’s really over,” Riley says, still looking at the necklace.

Maya frowns. “It’s been over for months.”

Riley sighs. “I know. I just hoped maybe, maybe it wasn’t.” She tucks the necklace into her pocket.

“Now you can move on,” Maya says, but she doesn’t like the way her stomach curls, like she’s guilty for encouraging it. If Riley moves on, Lucas will be officially free, except he won’t because he’ll always be Riley’s ex.

Maya doesn’t even know why she’s thinking about it. It isn’t like she’s going to date Lucas. The thought is laughable, except that it makes something twinge painfully when she does think of it. She needs to get a grip. She doesn’t like Lucas.

If she likes Lucas, then there are going to be all sorts of problems, and Maya doesn’t think she can handle it. She definitely couldn’t handle losing Riley.

“Yeah,” Riley replies, but she doesn’t sound too enthusiastic. “Let’s go to lunch.”

So much for Riley’s good mood.

*

It’s been almost two weeks since Maya’s last detention. There’s still a week and a half until winter break starts, but Maya swears it’s taking as long as possible to get here. The weather has been unusually snowy this winter, blocking up traffic and making treks to the subway like braving Mt. Everest.

Maya thinks she’s done a pretty good job of avoiding Lucas. It isn’t that hard considering they only have a couple classes together, but it’s also harder than Maya ever remembered it being before.

She doesn’t intend to find herself hanging back after school on Thursday afternoon. She tells herself it’s because she forgot her history book and Mr. Matthews probably can’t take anymore stress from her not doing homework. He’ll be gray before they graduate.

The detour she takes past the detention classroom is also not planned. It just happens to be the faster route to the front door. Staring in the window, now that she has no excuse for.

The room is empty, no teacher or students in sight. Peering in, on her tiptoes, Maya frowns.

“What are you doing?”

A voice behind her startles her and she whips around to find Lucas watching her.

“What are you doing?” she counters, not very well, mind you. “Why aren’t you in there?”

“Finished my detention yesterday,” he says, still watching her carefully. She wishes he wouldn’t. “What are you doing here?” he asks again.

“Just getting my book,” she says, holding it up as proof. She’s just here for her book, not to talk to Lucas.

Lucas doesn’t look convinced. He shifts his weight, looking extra bulky in his coat and scarf. Maya can’t stand the tension filling the hall. She has to get out of here before someone does something they’ll regret.

It shouldn’t feel like this. Why can’t they go back to how it was? In detention when they were just hanging out, having fun? Feelings always complicate things. 

That’s the point, Maya thinks as they stand there, the silence growing awkward, well, more awkward. It shouldn’t be awkward, but it is and it never has been before. It’s not because of the kiss but something else, the weird electricity in the air that’s more than tension.

Oh shit. Maya feels her heart dropping as it becomes clear, what the nerves mean, why this moment is so awful. She likes Lucas.

“I have to go,” she says abruptly, skirting around Lucas and hurrying for the door. Bursting out into the flurrying snow, Maya jumps the stairs, not caring about slipping. Her heart is pounding in her ears, vision blurring with snowflakes.

She can’t. She just can’t. 

Maya pushes her way down the street, not caring who she’s running into. She can’t run away from this, though. Liking Lucas is not allowed. He’s a cowboy from Texas who understands nothing about her or how her world works. How can he just sweep in and not expect this to ruin everything?

She has to tell Riley. The thought is a punch to the gut and she stops walking. It’s been bad enough, keeping everything else a secret, but how can she keep this a secret? She could crush it, she thinks vaguely. Crush her feelings and force them into a box deep inside her. Riley would probably say it isn’t healthy, but Riley is the one getting hurt here.

Telling Riley will probably be the worst thing she’s ever done. Does she even have it in her to do it? What will she get out of it by telling her? Peace of mind, honesty, maybe even Riley’s blessing? No, that’s too much to hope for. Still, Maya can’t help but grasp onto the tiny shred of hope. Of course, then she would have to admit Lucas was right, and she’s not sure she can do that either.

Running her hands through her hair, wet and cold with snow, she sniffs, her nose frozen. She can’t just stand here and do nothing. She has to make a choice, but she doesn’t know which to choose. Right now, she chooses to go somewhere warm. She’ll sort this out later.

*

Maya is beginning to rethink her decision. She can totally crush her feelings. She doesn’t need to tell Riley. That would at least get rid of this nauseous feeling. If it was anyone other than Lucas, it wouldn’t be a problem. But it is Lucas, and it’s Maya, and she has to tell Riley.

“Why are we in the bay window?” Riley asks, glancing at the snow piling up outside.

Maya takes a breath. She can do this. She can’t keep it a secret anymore. She hasn’t been able to think of anything else for days. She just has to do it.

“I need to talk to you about something,” she says and Riley tilts her head to the side.

“Is this like a Pluto thing? You don’t have to keep things like that from me anymore.”

“It’s not that.” Maya forces herself to stop fiddling with the ends of her scarf. She hates nervous ticks. She can’t believe she’s about to do this. “It’s about Lucas.”

Riley’s head tilts more. “What about him?”

“The thing is, well—” She stops. If she says this, if she tells Riley, it’s going to be real. She’ll have to admit it out loud. The way she feels around Lucas, all jittery and nervous in a good sort of way, is different than any other guy she’s ever dated.

“Are you okay?” Riley asks, concerned. 

Why is this so hard? She has to stop stalling. Maya has never been anything but honest with Riley and she doesn’t intend to start now. “I think I might…”

Riley’s looking at her, eyebrows furrowed. This is turning out to be way more difficult than Maya anticipated. 

“I think I like him.”

For a moment, Riley doesn’t react and then she laughs. “That’s funny.”

“I wasn’t joking.”

Riley stops laughing, staring at her. “What do you mean you like him? You don’t even talk to him.”

“We’ve had detention together,” Maya admits. If she’s going to tell her, she might as well tell her everything.. “We’ve been talking and…”

“And?” Riley asks uncertainly, like she doesn’t quite want to know.

“And we kissed.”

Riley stares at the wall opposite for a moment, as though she has no words. Maya’s heart pounds against her ribcage. Please don’t let Riley hate her. 

“You kissed,” Riley says finally, quietly.

“Ri—”

“You kissed Lucas?” she repeats, as though she doesn’t believe the words coming out of her own mouth. 

“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” Maya tries to explain. There is no excuse for it. She’s spent the better part of three weeks trying to come up with one and she hasn’t.

“What else could you mean with two pairs of lips?” Riley asks, but it’s clear she doesn’t want Maya to answer. “How could you do that?”

It’s the quietness of Riley’s voice that freaks Maya out more than anything. She should be yelling. She should be throwing things or something, anything.

“I never meant for it to happen. You have to believe me,” Maya says, desperate. “Lucas and I have nothing in common. We’ve never had a real conversation until a month ago. It was always you and him.”

“But you kissed him,” Riley says, a little louder this time.

“I’m sorry.” Maya doesn’t know what else to say. It’s entirely her fault. What kind of best friend is she? How could she think this would go okay? She’s the worst friend ever. She won’t blame Riley if she screams at her and calls her a bitch and says she never wants to see her again.

That’s not how Riley works, though. Riley gets hurt and then she gets sad.

Riley looks like she might cry, and Maya feels the same. This is definitely the worst things she’s ever done, and she’s done some pretty bad things in her life. 

“You know, when we broke up, he said he liked someone else,” Riley says, speaking more to the cushion than Maya, like she can’t stand to look her in the face.

“He did?”

“He wouldn’t say who. I thought it was Missy. But it wasn’t. It was you.” Riley looks up at her.

“Me? But we didn’t talk for two months after you guys broke up. It couldn’t have been me.” Maya shakes her head. Lucas can’t have broken up with Riley for her. It would be stupid of him. She doesn’t like the way Riley looks at her, as though she’s betrayed her. Maya’s supposed to be the strong one between the two of them, but right now, it feels like one more word could crumple her. She hates this feeling, this utter disappointment that she’s ruined her oldest friendship.

“He broke up with me for you.”

“No—”

“And you kissed him behind my back.”

“We’re not together,” Maya says desperately. She has to get this out before Riley decides to hate her forever. “Riley, I wouldn’t—”

“But you did,” Riley says abruptly, standing from the window and brushing away a tear. “You’re supposed to be my friend, Maya, my best friend. Best friends don’t do that.”

Maya feels a balloon welling in her chest, pressing against her throat, making it harder to breathe. She hates what she’s done. She’d known it was wrong, but she’d done it anyway. 

“I’m so sorry,” she says instead, barely getting the words out. “I promise I will never do anything like this again.”

Riley sinks onto her bed and doesn’t reply. In the bay window, Maya rests her head against the cold pane and closes her eyes. She may have finally figured out her feelings, but Riley comes first. She always has and she always will, even if that means giving up the one guy who might be the only good one left.

*

Maya has never fought with Riley for more than a few days, and never over something so serious. But she isn’t even sure they’re fighting. Things are just weird.

Riley hasn’t said anything about their conversation and it’s been three days. The whole weekend passed by in agony, mostly in silence, and Maya can’t stand it. She can’t figure out a way to get Riley to see she’s sorry, though. She isn’t sure Riley is mad at her so much as betrayed.

“Final exam on Friday,” Mr. Matthews says, too excitedly for Maya’s tastes. “Then I’m free for a whole two weeks!”

Maya slides down in her chair. Beside her, Riley doesn’t respond to him, tapping her notebook. The air feels tight to Maya, almost suffocating. She doesn’t dare look at Lucas behind her. She wonders if he can feel it too.

“So let’s do a little prep,” Mr. Matthews says, glancing around the classroom. “Poland and Switzerland! One survived World War II. One did not. Why?”

He looks first at Riley, who doesn’t meet his eyes. He moves to Maya, who wonders if she can get away with the sleeping with her eyes open excuse again.

“Mr. Friar,” he says finally, his last resort when no one else in the class volunteers.

“Poland was steamrolled,” Lucas says dully. “They didn’t fight back.”

“They didn’t have the chance to,” Mr. Matthews adds. “But why wasn’t Switzerland invaded?”

“They were neutral.”

Mr. Matthews held up a finger. “Not quite. When war broke out, Switzerland mobilized their whole army in three days but the attack never came. It was good strategy and economic deals. They were surrounded by both allies and the axis powers. They were forced to trade with Germany. Both sides made their mark.”

“So being neutral didn’t help them at all?” Lucas asks doubtfully. “They should have fought back.”

“Like Poland?” Maya says sharply. “Wiped off the map completely?”

Mr. Matthews looks delighted that she actually listens, but Maya doesn’t care about Poland or Switzerland. She can’t be Poland. It just gets her beat up, but being Switzerland hasn’t done her any favors either.

“At least they picked a side.”

“Maybe it was the wrong one,” Riley says before Maya can reply. “Maybe Poland should have picked the right side and fought harder.”

“This is great!” Mr. Matthews is excited but Maya is back to feeling terrible. She should have stayed Switzerland.

*

“We’re not gonna disappear off the map, right?” Maya asks, catching Riley at her locker where she can’t ignore her. The rest of class had been painfully awkward, but no one but her, Riley, and Lucas had seemed to notice.

“What are you talking about?” Riley asks, shoving her books inside haphazardly, not at all the way she usually keeps her locker.

“I’m talking about this whole… thing,” she says, lowering her voice. She doesn’t know why she does. It feels like the walls have ears in this place. “We’re not going to become strangers who don’t recognize each other at the ten year reunion, are we?”

Riley shuts her locker and doesn’t speak for a moment, sighing at the wall. “I don’t know. I never thought…” She shakes her head. “I feel… mad. I’m mad at you and I’m mad at Lucas. But I’m also sad. I hate fighting but I just don’t know how I can get over this.”

“I didn’t plan this,” Maya says, still speaking quietly. She really wishes they weren’t in the middle of the hallway. “And I hate, _hate_ , that I hurt you, Riles. I would never do it on purpose. You know that.”

“But you said you liked him.” Riley looks pained, torn between anger and forgiveness.

“Yes, I—” Maya doesn’t know how to explain it. She can’t even explain it to herself. It’s just a feeling, one she can’t shake no matter how hard she tries. “I’ve dated so many jerks. There have been so many guys that look at me and only see hair or boobs or whatever. Lucas isn’t like that. He actually sees me, like as a person.”

It probably doesn’t help her case to explain this to Riley. Riley doesn’t need it explained. She knows. She’s been there.

Riley doesn’t reply for a while and they stand by the lockers as other people pass them. They need to get to their next class, but neither of them move. Maya just wants things to go back to how they were. She doesn’t want Riley to be mad at her.

“Your friendship is the most important thing to me,” Maya says finally. “I would be lost without you. I won’t ever talk to Lucas again if you don’t want me to.”

As she says it, something deep inside cracks, but she doesn’t know what it is. It hurts, but it’s the best thing to do. There will be other guys, maybe not as nice as Lucas or as smart or cute or who understand her quite as well, but there won’t be another Riley.

It takes an agonizingly long time, but Riley nods finally. 

“Okay,” she says. “I don’t want to be mad anymore.”

Maya breathes a sigh of relief, but it’s muddled with sadness. “Me neither.”

Things aren’t quite right, but at least the truth is out there and Riley doesn’t hate her. It’s probably more than she could have hoped for. Now, she just has to forget about Lucas. Easier said than done.

*

Before, back in September, when Riley and Lucas had first broken up, not talking to Lucas hadn’t seemed so hard. Maya honestly hadn’t thought about him too much except for the awkwardness in classes and the silent passings in the hall. Now, every minute she doesn’t talk to him feels like an eternity, except it’s an eternity that will never end because she’s promised Riley she’ll never talk to him again.

Not talking to someone, it turns out, is just as hard as talking to them.

She has to turn to face Lucas whenever she passes back papers in history. She always does it quickly with no eye contact. She has to see him in the halls between classes. She just wants the break to get here so she can have a whole two weeks without running into him everywhere she goes.

Riley doesn’t say anything about the new weirdness, and things still aren’t totally back to normal between them either, but it’s not horrible, which is better than nothing. 

This has officially been the longest week of Maya’s life.

“I cannot wait for break,” she says as she and Riley head for physics. “I just want to get out of this school.”

Riley frowns but says nothing. They pass Lucas going the opposite direction. For a second, he hesitates, and panic seizes Maya. She grabs Riley’s arm and tugs her onward before Lucas can say anything.

Riley looks concerned when they reach the classroom and Maya releases her arm. Maya doesn’t think she can handle being around Lucas, not when it feels like something is crushing her heart when she is.

“Only two days to go,” she says. She doesn’t even care that there are final exams to get through.

As she slides into her seat, Drew passes her with a wink that makes her stomach curl. So far, she’s managed to avoid talking to him since they broke up, which is probably a good thing considering the rumors he’s been spreading. Missy’s been doing her best to help them along as well.

She doesn’t understand what his grudge is. Because she bruised his ego when he wanted sex and she said no? Because he thought she’d be easy and she wasn’t? At least not enough for his liking. Maya doesn’t think she’s a prude. She does what she wants with guys, whether it’s just kissing or more than that, but it’s her body and it’s her choice.

Physics is even more boring than usual, but Maya tries to pay attention because the final exam is tomorrow and she does need to pass this class. Something’s off, though. Something she can’t pinpoint what. The feeling of unease follows her after class ends and they spill into the hallway.

“Hey, Maya,” Drew calls, loud enough for people around to hear. “Any plans for the break?”

Drew hasn’t talked to her in months, and never to say anything nice, so Maya hesitates as she turns to him. Missy appears at his side, a smug look on her face.

“No,” she says because she can’t think up a clever retort when he’s leering at her like that. She feels Riley behind her, and it seems like every eye is on them, though she doesn’t know why. To make things worse, Lucas rounds the corner and stops at the scene unfolding.

“Because I heard you’re slumming it with your friend’s exes these days. No decent guy will have you anymore and now you’ve got to take leftovers.”

Maya stares, his words penetrating her skin. How does he know? Her eyes shift to Missy and her irritating face. Missy.

“What’s your problem, Drew? Worried I’ll tell everyone how tiny your penis is?”

Drew actually looks insulted, and Maya feels a moment of triumph, but it’s quickly dashed at his next words.

“You would say that considering how many dicks you’ve seen. You’re the school slut and everybody knows it, Maya.”

It stings more than Maya thought it would, more than when Missy called her a whore. He says it so loudly, so matter-of-factly, and everyone within earshot hears him. She doesn’t try to hit him, not like she would Missy.

She doesn’t have to. Before anyone moves, the whole hallway frozen, waiting to see what she’s going to do, Lucas steps in and punches Drew in the face. Drew stumbles back, surprised, but he swings, catching Lucas on the cheek. Lucas’ second punch lands on his stomach, and Drew doubles over, gasping for air.

“Don’t talk about her like that,” Lucas growls, slamming Drew into the locker as Missy shrieks.

Drew tries to smile, blood streaming from his nose. “You deserve all the STDs she can give you, man.”

Maya actually winces at the crunch of Lucas’ fist against Drew’s jaw.

“Break it up!” A loud, teacher-ly voice cuts through the crowd, who rush to leave. The gym teacher yanks Lucas back, and all Maya can do is stare. “That’s detention, Friar. Grady, get to the nurse before you bleed all over the floor. Then I want you both in the principals office.”

Lucas lets Mr. Nelson pull him away from where Drew is bent over against the locker, blood dripping onto the floor. Lucas’ eyes are hard as he backs away, but he seems calm otherwise. Maya feels frozen, in shock almost. Behind her, Riley touches her arm gently.

“I’m fine,” she says, catching Lucas’ eyes as he’s led away. A rush of gratitude followed by sadness wells up inside her.

“Don’t listen to him,” Riley says comfortingly, but she’s watching Lucas go too. Maya has never actually seen Lucas hit someone. It’s kind of a shock. She doesn’t know what it means.

“Get to class, ladies,” Mrs. O’Connell says as she sticks her head out of her classroom door and the bell rings.

“Come on,” Riley says, nudging Maya forward. Maya follows her, but she isn’t all there as they go to their next class, and she isn’t listening to anything the teacher says as she sits there. She feels shaken, both by Drew and by Lucas. When did life get so complicated? Sinking in her seat, she puts her head on her arms and blocks out the teacher, staring out the window at the falling snow instead.

*

She and Riley don’t talk about it after school. They go to the bakery and study for their tests. Maya gets the feeling Riley wants to say something, but Maya doesn’t want to talk about it. There’s nothing to say. She and Lucas aren’t anything and they never will be, and she’s going to be okay with that. She will. It just is taking longer than she thought.

It feels weird that Lucas punched someone for her. Maybe she really is a bad influence. First Riley slaps Missy, then Lucas punches Drew. Not that he didn’t deserve it, because he did, but still. Maya doesn’t really want people becoming violent because of her.

She just hopes Lucas doesn’t get suspended because of her.

Riley keeps looking at her while they study, but Maya doesn’t ask why. Normally, it would bother her, whatever unspoken thing Riley is thinking, but she doesn’t want to know this time. It’s been hard enough the past couple weeks trying to act like things are normal. She doesn’t want to break what tentative peace she’s managed to achieve.

She leaves before Riley can say whatever she wants to. Maybe she’ll forget about it by tomorrow, though Maya doubts it. She doesn’t think she’ll ever forget this week as long as she lives.

The next day is Friday, the last day before winter break, but almost every class has tests, and Maya’s brain hurts by second period. She’s seen Lucas only once, in history, so he must not have been suspended yet, or maybe they’re waiting until break is over to do it. He hadn’t looked great, a black eye circling his right eye. She hadn’t spoken to him. She still has a promise to keep, even if all she wants to do is apologize for letting him get involved. And maybe slap him for getting involved in the first place.

In physics, Drew doesn’t look better. In fact, he looks worse. Both his eyes are black and he’s got a bandage over his nose. Probably broken. Maya feels a little better at that and at the way he merely glares at her back as she sits down.

The test is unbearably long and Maya is pretty sure they didn’t cover half the things on it, but she scribbles down her answers as the hour ticks away. 

“All right, pass them forward,” Mrs. O’Connell says.

Riley takes Maya’s paper before Maya can hand it forward, sliding it off her desk and scribbling something on the front page that Maya can’t see.

“Riley,” she says quietly, but Riley hands it in along with the rest of the papers, right on top.

Mrs. O’Connell’s mouth twists as she reads whatever Riley wrote there and fixes her gaze on Maya.

“I thought we might end the semester on a good note, Ms. Hart, but I see another detention in your future.”

“What—”

“After school,” Mrs. O’Connell interrupts and turns away before Maya can argue.

Incensed, she practically drags Riley into the hall as the bell rings. “What the hell are you doing?” she demands. She’s finally done with detention and now Riley is getting it for her?

Riley isn’t affected by Maya’s anger. Instead, she sighs like she’s about to say something that Maya isn’t sure she wants to hear.

“Yesterday, Lucas punched someone.”

“Yes, he did.” Maya was there. She remembers. She doesn’t see where Riley is going with this.

“But he didn’t just punch someone, he did it for you.”

“So? He would defend any of his friends.”

Riley shakes her head, looking guilty. “I thought it would easier if you didn’t talk to him. If we could just go back to normal and pretend things were okay, but things aren’t okay.”

“Riley, what…”

“When Lucas broke up with me, I was so upset,” she says. “And I thought that by not talking to him, it would make me feel better but it never did. I missed him. I still miss him, but it’s different now. And yesterday, I saw the way you looked at him, and the way he looked at you.” She pauses, and Maya is pretty sure she’s going to have a heart attack from the way her heart is pounding. “I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy. People change, and maybe you and Lucas are supposed to be together.”

“We’re still in high school,” Maya points out, but she doesn’t allow herself to hope quite yet.

“Even if you aren’t, I don’t want to be the person who stops you from finding out.”

“Riley,” Maya says because she doesn’t know what else to say. “I don’t deserve you as my best friend.”

“Of course you do,” Riley says with a small smile. “Without me, you’d go around hitting people all the time.”

“Looks I’ve got people to do that for me these days.” Maya smiles, hope blooming in her chest, but she still hesitates. “But are you sure?”

Riley pauses a second, and Maya’s heart rate speeds up way past normal. She shouldn’t be so eager, so desperate to hear her answer, but she is, waiting on pins and needles.

“I want you to be happy, and if Lucas makes you happy, then you need to try.”

Maya can’t find words, and she pulls Riley into a hug instead. It’s ridiculous that one sentence can make things so much better. She’s aware, though, that this isn’t easy for Riley.

“You’re the best friend anyone could ever have,” she says firmly, releasing Riley. “But did you have to get me detention just for that?”

Riley shrugs. “Lucas will be in detention.”

Maya stares for a second then smiles. “I’ve rubbed off on you too much.”

Riley nods. “You’re a terrible influence.”

A part of Maya is relieved as they head for their next class, but the other part remembers she’ll have to see Lucas in a few hours and she has to have something to say this time.

*

The door creaks as Maya pushes it open, and Lucas’ head rises from where it was on the desk. His eyes widen in surprise but he doesn’t speak. Neither of them speak as Maya takes her seat and they wait for the teacher to arrive.

Maya’s been thinking all day what she’s supposed to say, but nothing has come to mind, nothing to convey the mixture of emotions swirling inside her.

It isn’t long before Mrs. Petri strides in with her hawk-like gaze as she faces them. She’s probably upset she has to be here considering they’re looking at two whole weeks without school once they get out of here.

“No talking. No sleeping. No eating,” she says abruptly before grabbing her romance novel out of the desk drawer and retreating to her own classroom.

The door clicks shut behind her, leaving Maya and Lucas alone.

“You’re not suspended,” Maya says finally, turning to face him. The black eye looks worse up close, blue and purple mottling his skin.

“Two more months of detention,” he says. “Mr. Matthews seems to think I had a good reason this time.”

“You shouldn’t have done it,” she says before she can stop herself. “You shouldn’t get in trouble for me.”

“What’s the point in having friends if you’re not going to have their backs?”

“We’re still friends?”

Lucas sighs and leans back in his chair. “I don’t know, Maya. What are we?”

“Honestly, I didn’t think we were really friends before. Just knowing someone for a long time doesn’t make you friends. You were always Riley’s something, and then you weren’t, and then you became something else.”

Lucas pauses, leaning forward again. “What else?”

“Confusing, for one,” she says, but she can’t let herself ruin this with sarcasm. It could be her only chance. “But mostly, you became a possibility.” She grimaces at herself. “Look, I’m not good at this, and it’s probably gonna come out all wrong, but I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for freaking out and not talking to you for so long. You just, you weren’t supposed to be a possibility.”

“But I am now?” He’s milking this, she knows it, but she lets him get away with it. She deserves it.

“Riley doesn’t hate me, which is more than I deserve, and I’m hoping you don’t either or else I’m going to look really stupid, and I hate looking stupid.”

“I know,” he says, but she swears she sees a tiny smile there.

“Well?” she asks when he doesn’t say anything else. She can’t take the suspense. Maybe she didn’t apologize properly. It isn’t something she does often.

“What do you want me to say?”

“That you still like me and I didn’t just make a huge fool out of myself.” Is that too much to ask?

“Coming from you, that’s probably the best ‘I’m sorry’ I’ve ever heard you say. In fact, I think it’s the only one.”

“Huckleberry,” she says threateningly. She isn’t in the mood to be mocked. Either they’re going to do this or the past few months of stress and worry and guilt will all have been in vain.

Lucas ducks his head slightly. “I’ve always liked you, Maya, even back in middle school when you refused to use my name. Even then. It just wasn’t until this year that I realized I couldn’t keep pretending Riley and I were going to work. Obviously I didn’t mean for all of this to happen, especially not for Riley to get hurt, but I want to be more than a possibility.”

“Pretty sure you are,” she says, and she can’t help smiling. The fact that this is Lucas is what makes it so ridiculous, but she’s unbearably happy when he smiles back at her.

When he leans in to kiss her, over the desk, she smiles against his lips. It’s kind of weird how happy Lucas makes her. A few months ago, she would have said the thought of this was crazy, but kissing Lucas feels so right.

“Please don’t ever stop talking to me again,” Lucas says when he pulls back.

Maya smiles. “Even if this ends in fire, I promise I’ll still call you names.”

“Good.” He leans in again, but Mrs. Petri bursts through the door and they jerk back.

“No talking!” she snaps, glaring at them before shutting the door again.

Settling into her chair, Maya smiles to herself. She doesn’t plan on not talking to Lucas any time soon. They fall into a comfortable silence, and Lucas takes her hand as they turn to the window and watch the snow falling instead.

*

FIN.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: [believenthlie](http://believenthlie.tumblr.com)


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